It was 01-July-2012 when, after three months of a no show, I finally get to be visited by Aunt Flow (AF) and never had I thought that I’ll be that thrilled to see her.  At last, I am, once again, back in the track and is all set to board the Trying to Conceive (TTC) Train and continue with my journey.

Though AF always comes with those awful pains, they are now less likely than my previous periods.  Surprisingly, I didn’t get to experience spotting prior to and after her four-day visit.  Yes, her visit lasted only for four days which is so much shorter than she used to.

She came in late in the morning while I was at work and I immediately ran to the Appointment Desk to be able to have an appointment with Dr. ANB the next day.  Unfortunately, I cannot be squeezed in for all the slots have already been filled up but was recommended that I walk in if it was really that urgent.  Of course, it was really an urgent matter for me for I need to be seen on my Cycle Day (CD) No. 2.  I need to start the treatment as soon as possible for I am running out of time!

Persistence Overcomes Resistance!

So I actually did win the battle and was seen by Dr. FY, who covered for Dr. ANB.  The consultation went smoothly and it was indeed enlightening.  Like what I have mentioned in my old post, she was actually pushing for an In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) due to my age but after weighing all the options, we both decided that I initially undergo an Induced Fertilization Process through Clomid.  Well, as far as I can remember, that was Dr. ANB’s plan…

I was told to take three rounds of the said pill beginning of CD2 of the current cycle and should supposedly be seen again on CD12 of the same cycle for monitoring.  Unfortunately, the available schedules don’t match so she decided to only see me again after three months.  But before parting our ways, Dr. FY stressed out that should I be experiencing a very bad abdominal cramping and nausea during Ovulation Time, I must have myself admitted to the Emergency Room (ER) and need not worry much for Clomid will make my body produced more mature eggs.  I was, somehow, pleased with the idea but still worried for I will go forth with the treatment for the next three months unmonitored.

Of Taking Things More Seriously

I finished my first round of Clomid on CD6 and according to the Clomid Ovulation Calculator which I found online, I should start using Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs) on CD9 and I am most likely to ovulate in between CD11 to CD16 which brings me more hope and extreme excitement.

Also, I have started charting my Basal Body Temperature (BBT) this cycle and although I only began taking my temps on CD4, I think I get to like doing so.  In fact, I even regret not doing it earlier.

I also learned that Clomid dries up one’s Cervical Mucus (CM) and thins the uterus – one thing that is quite alarming but can easily be reversed by taking Robitussin or any form of Guaifenesin and by Baby Aspirins.  To this, I forced Sir Bug into buying me a Robitussin and some Baby Aspirins.  This is it; I am now taking things more seriously.  I must conceive!

The Waiting Game

Since the Clomid Ovulation Calculator that I’ve found online indicated that I can start testing on OPKs in as early as CD9, I wasted no time and did so.  Unluckily, the test came out to be negative.  I guessed it was too early to test and decided to continue testing until I get that positive.

Today is CD16 and I still haven’t had a positive yet.  Though the lines are getting darker now, I can’t help but be worried and be frustrated.

Adding to all these uncertainties, my chart showed a temperature drop from 36.4°C on CD10 to 36.1°C on CD11 and then back to 36.4°C on CD12-14.  Did I ovulate on CD11?  How come I am not getting any positives on my OPKs?  Did I miss the window?  Or I really haven’t ovulated yet?

Oh this waiting game is driving me crazy!

Hello ladies, I’m back!  It’s been quite a while and I sure am been missing a lot out here.  How’s everyone doing?

I actually don’t know where to start as far as my journey is concerned but I am definitely am glad to learn that a number of my sisters out here have already achieved their much-awaited BFP’s and pray that you ladies will continue to do well in your pregnancies.  Can’t help but feel emotional on this matter not because of jealousy but because of joy that all your prayers, efforts and waiting have finally paid off.

As for me, a lot of things have taken place these past few months and I just wish I can detail things out.

I had my second and last shot of Lupron Depot on 26-March-2012.  I know that I’ve told you guys that I am supposed to have three but I missed my last shot because Sir Bug and I went out on a month-long vacation and can’t find a local pharmacy that will sell me one.  Anyhows, I didn’t get to experience many side effects on it except for the mild hot flashes and I didn’t get to have my period for three months.  Yeah right, I get to miss those terrible cramps and other sufferings brought about by Aunt Flow’s monthly visit for three months.  

I went back working on 26-May-2012 and had my follow-up check on 28-May-2012 but since Dr. ANB needs to attend to an urgent matter, it was Dr. AMS who covered for him.  I told her that I missed my last Lupron Depot Shot and she came back telling me that I need to take it at once and that I still have three more doses of it to be administered for the next three months wherein I disagreed for Sir Bug and I have taken a break from Trying to Conceive (TTC) for quite some time now and eagerly wishes to continue up with it since it’s already been almost six months past my surgery.  She then phoned Dr. ANB for his opinion and recommendations and I ended up to having scheduled for a Pelvic Ultrasound and a follow-up appointment on Cycle Day (CD) 2.  As per Dr. ANB, I shall be put on Clomid starting from CD 2 to CD 6 once I get to have my period.  That, somehow, gave me a bit of a relief but was suddenly snatched out of it when my conversation with Dr. AMS went on to telling me how difficult would it be for someone like me with Endometriosis to conceive and that the only chance that I have is through In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) wherein I have to stand in a long queue in order for me to get through if I wanted it to be done in our hospital.  Otherwise, it would be better to have it done somewhere else where I will get to spend such huge amount of money.  

Is she kidding me?  I can’t believe her.  Never had I thought that a specialist like her would have talk to a patient like me in that matter.  I know that reality sucks but I’m pretty sure that neither Dr. HM nor Dr. ANB would speak to me that way.  The two has always been positive and certain on which approach and treatment would suit their patients best.  However, I just let it pass me by and convinced myself that unlike the average and less skilled persons, the more skilled people focuses on possibilities and finding ways on how to do things rather than focusing on the problem itself.

Days have passed and I continued to bloat and been mistakenly been suspected by a lot of people to be pregnant.  Well, I think it’s a compliment and I’ve enjoyed it.  But reality bites, I still am not pregnant!

It was 01-July-2012 when I, once again, felt that horrible cramps and AF came gushing like she was on a rush.  Oddly, I was glad.  I never imagined that there will be a time that AF will be mostly welcome and that I will be that excited to have her in.  I then ran to the hospital to get an appointment but unfortunately, the schedule was full and I was instructed to just walk-in the next day which I did!

Dr. ANB was again out at that time and it was Dr. FY who came to attend to me.  As usual, she went through my history and read me my Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) and Pelvic Ultrasound Findings which says:

Hysterosalpingogram

Findings:

Hysterosalpingogram under fluoroscopy screen after injection of water soluble contrast through the cervical canal.

Normal smooth filling of the uterine cavity.  No evidence of uterine filling defect is seen. Normal smooth filling of the right fallopian tube with good spillage and peritoneal smearing. The left fallopian tube shows normal caliber with smooth filling till its fimbral end where there is saccular dilation at its fimbrial end with no spillage seen during the delayed peritoneal smearing.  Features are suggestive of left peritubal adhesion.

Impression:

Patent right tube.

Left tubal distal obstruction with suggested peritubal adhesion.

Pelvic Ultrasound

Clinical History:

Primary Infertility with history of endometriosis operated, for followup.

Findings:

Anteverted normal-sized uterus measuring 8.0 x 4.0 x 5.1 cm.

Endometrium is central and not thickened measuring 1.0 cm.

No mass lesion is seen in the myometrium.

No free fluid is seen in the posterior cul-de-sac.

Right ovary measures 2.5 x 1. x 3.4 cm with volume of 7.7 ml.  It shows a follicle measuring 1.6 x 1.5 cm.

Left ovary measures 2.9 x 2.0 x 2.9 cm with volume of 9.4 ml.  A small cyst measuring 1.0 x 0.9 cm is seen in the left ovary with low-level internal echoes could represent a small hemorrhagic cyst.

Impression:

Anteverted normal-sized uterus with endometrial thickness of 1.0 cm.  Both ovaries are normal in size, shape and echotexture with a developing follicle in the right ovary and small probably hemorrhagic cyst in the left ovary.  For clinical correlation.

For a while, I thought the world would fall over me.  I waited for six months now to TTC again and having to receive the bad news of having another cyst on your left ovary is a little bit over my comprehension!  But then, I was glad that Dr. FY was quick enough to pick my reaction up when she told me to lie down for she will perform and On-the-Spot Abdominal Scan.  I went on so willingly and all my worries disappeared in a second when she broke the silence when she exclaimed “There is no cyst!”.

Then we continue to talk more while she explained her view and reasons for recommending an IVF.  This time, I didn’t feel that gut feelings that I had when I was with Dr. AMS.  She explained things so thoroughly that I can feel her concern.  Nonetheless, she might have said things so nicely and she was indeed convincing, I still asked for other options and we came to agree on having to be under an Induced Ovulation through Clomid for three months.  I was instructed to take it from CDs 2-6 and she would want me to come back on CD 12 to have my hormones checked.  Unfortunately, the Appointment Desk can’t squeeze me in and she just decided to drop the blood works and let her see me after three months.

Though I am pleaesd with the overall outcome of this check-up, I still can’t help myself but to be sad for it seems that I am, once again, being left out in the wild on my own.  I will have to go through this three-month battle without being monitored.  

Well, what can I do?  At least I see hope came peeking through that small window…  What else can I ask for?

Don't bother me.  I'm on Lupron and I can rip your freakin' head off!

Hello Blogesphere, I'm back!

How's everyone?  Did you guys miss me?  'Cause I did miss you all...

So, I really did miss out on a lot of things here ei???

Well, as for me and my journey, there's been too many things that have taken place since my last update and I can't think of a better way than to enumerate them all just to keep you guys updated and here they go...

08-Jan-2012.  I was woken up at 6:00 AM by one of the nurses to remove the IV Fluid attached.  It still wasn’t easy to move around yet but I was advised to try walking around to wake my system up for they still might be on sleep due to the anesthesia.  At 11:00 AM, they finally freed me from the Catheter. 

09-Jan-2012.  Been spotting for the past two days and I’m glad that the red flag gave me a break this time. I was still in pain but it was tolerable.  Planned to do a little walking but I haven’t been gone far enough from my room when I met Dr. SAA and her team down the hallway and was asked to go back to my room for they will have to check me up first.  I went back so willingly and the team checked my wounds and asked one of their members to clean and change the dressing.  After a few interrogations and exchange of words, they then decided that I am now free and ready to be discharged.  So, I immediately grabbed my mobile phone to inform Sir Bug about the discharge and the need for him to pick me up.  It was a good thing that one of my colleagues has gifted me with a red cotton dress which I changed into as soon as I got myself out of the patient gown and wore while on my way back home.  

10-Jan-2012.  Bled once again.  Though it was light, it did freaked me out specially that I am, at that time, already at home where no nurse can be called up for help.  Is this normal or what??? 

11-Jan-2012.  The bleeding went from light to medium and it really was freaking me out.  Talked to my mom over Skype and asked her to ask my aunt who works in a hospital to ask their OB Gyne Consultant if what was I experiencing that time was normal or not.  Thank God, they said that there was no need to worry for what I was experiencing was just normal.

12-Jan-2012.  Now, the bleeding went from medium to heavy and it was, indeed, painful.  Is this AF or what???  Ooopps, by the way, for the first time after my surgery, I pooped! 

13-Jan-2012.  The flow went down from heavy to medium.  I did a little research on the net and learned from one doctor that Aunt Flow (AF) is possible if you've ovulated prior to having the surgery performed. 

14-Jan-2012.  The flow finally went down to light and hoped that it will finally go away. 

15-Jan-2012.  No more flow but only spotting.  Yay! 

16-Jan-2012.  I’m finally free from flow and spotting.  Still wasn’t easy to move around though… 

18-Jan-2012.  The spotting stroke back. 

19-Jan-2012.  Still spotting… 

20-Jan-2012.  No more spotting.  I feel like as though I am trapped in Big Brother’s House.  I am, at that time, missing the outside world… 

21-Jan-2012.  This is it, I finally was able to see the outside world.  Had a 5:30 PM Follow-Up Check-Up with the doc.  Sir Bug picked me up at 4:00 PM and we went straight to our office to meet with my boss.  I am feeling a lot better and can now move around more freely.  Learned from my boss that I was granted a 28-Day Sick Leave beginning from the Date of Admission.  I was on the 16^th Day and is feeling really bored at home.  As for the check-up, I didn’t get to see Dr. ANB but another doctor instead.  There was nothing significant derived from that visit. 

23-Jan-2012.  Had another round of Follow-Up Check-up at 9:30 AM but went on early because of hubby’s schedule.  I was dropped off in the office at around 7:30 AM and stayed in there for a while.  Since I’ve been feeling like I’m a prisoner at my own home, my boss and I gave Dr. ANB a call to ask if it’s possible that I return back to work without consuming the whole 28 days of it.  As per hospital’s policy and Dr. ANB’s stand, 28 days is the standard number of Sick Leaves that must be granted for my kind of procedure and he cannot recommend something shorter than that.  However, he added up that it is up to me if I feel that I am strong and fit enough to return for work.  To double check things up, we called the Human Resources (HR) Department and inquired about the possibility.  Luckily, they said it’s possible!  Strange though…  But I am happy and really did plan to come back for work on the 21^st Day.  I don’t want to consume my whole 30 Days Sick Leave Allotment in one blow and during the first month of the year.  Most importantly, I plan to file for an Annual Vacation two (2) weeks after my return.  Need to cool things up you know???  As for the Follow-Up Check-Up, I’ve learned for the first time from Dr. Fatima that one of the reasons why Dr. ANB and Dr. RZ decided to push through with the Laparotomy was because the Endometrioma was too attached or close to the Endometrial Wall.  We also talked about my Fallopian Tubes and its condition that prompted her to write a request for a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) which must be done right after my period.  Yeah right, I hope the surgery didn’t mess up with my cycle! 

25-Jan-2012.  It’s my 35^th Birthday and I sure am so glad for all of God’s blessings.  I hosted a small gathering at home for close friends and relatives.  ‘Twas also a Thanksgiving Party for a Successful Surgery. 

28-Jan-2012.  Returned back to work and just in time for the Monthly Reports.  Not much moving needed but work is a little brain-draining… 

10-Feb-2012.  Experienced Medium Bleeding.  I guessed that was AF messing around with me and she's a week early!  Still experienced some cramps but not as bad as it used to. 

11-Feb-2012.  Woke up with lots of big rashes all over.  The bleeding went on from medium to heavy.  Working isn’t comfortable at this state so I have to rush myself to the Employee Health Clinic (EHC) and was diagnosed with an Acute Urticaria.  Oh no! 

12-Feb-2012.  The flow went down from heavy to medium.  Still having those awful cramps.


14-Feb-2012.  The bleeding is now down from medium to light and I felt a lot better now.  In fact, I even managed to visit the mall and paid GNC Live Well Store and got myself a bottle of Dong Quai. 

15-Feb-2012.  Started taking two (2) 565mg capsules of GNC Dong Quai twice a day.  So far, I haven’t felt any violent reactions yet.

16-Feb-2012.  Feeling a little heavy after taking the last dose of Dong Quai for the day.  Felt like I wasn’t able to digest what I ate for dinner.  Slept early. 

17-Feb-2012.  Woke up at 12:00 MN due to urge of wanting to throw up.  Been vomiting from that time onward ‘til 6:00 AM where there is nothing more to throw.  Okay, I think I have to stop talking Dong Quai for a while.  Was only able to sleep at 11:00 AM. 

22-Feb-2012.  Scheduled for an HSG.  Had to report an hour early for a Pregnancy Test which I am sure will turn out to be a negative.  Took  two (2) tablets of Advil an hour before my scheduled HSG but was administered with another round of Diclofenac Sulfate Tablet prior to the procedure.  Ouch, thought I had myself prepared for this one but it still hurt!  I was advised me not to worry if bleeding occurs in the next few days ‘cause it’s all normal…  Their prediction is definitely right 'cause I bled right away and not just bled - I bled with clots.!  Yeah right, with clots just like those that comes out during AF's visit!  Oh, by the way, according to the doc, the right tube was blocked.  What the?!? 

27-Feb-2012.  Follow-Up Check-Up with Dr. ANB.  He told me not to worry about the blockage because it was caused by the adhesions resulted from the surgery.  He said that it’ll definitely work that way since the scars are still healing.  I still have the other tube in tact anyways…  I also asked him if I am now alright to try for a baby and he answered with a big “YES”.  Haha, Sir Bug will be happy to hear about this!  Then, he called the pharmacy and asked for the availability of Lupron.  Lupron?  Yeah, I had my first shot of Lupron Depot administered that day.  Don’t know what’s going to happen next but since it’s free and Dr. ANB was a very credible one, I didn’t object to it.  I will be on Lupron for the next two (2) months by the way…

So I guess these were all it.  I know I’ve written a lot and I hope you guys won’t be bored with me.  I’ve been super busy these past days both with work and at home that I can’t even find time to log-in and check my Facebook Account.  Today, I thank God for He has given me this freedom to check my blog and squeeze in some time to write an update before February ends.  Also, I thank you all, especially you Jess for keeping in touch.  God bless us all in this journey!

I've been spending quite some time tweaking my blog's layout.  I don't know what came into my mind that I feel like changing it.  My old layout's actually fine but there's just something that I am looking for which, up to this moment, I failed to determine what it is.

My blog's old desktop layout.  Shot taken from my computer.

I'm not sure if any of you have noticed that my blog's layout has changed for quite a number of times during the past 24 hours or so.  Well of course, you will only get to notice it if you regularly visit my blog...

My blog's fresh clean look.  Thanks to Webfolio!  Picture taken from my mobile phone.

Finally, I was able to find one template that suit me -- the Webfolio Theme by Site5.com.  It's a magazine style template that is widgets ready and lots of features built within it. It includes a slider gallery of posts, a search bar and comes with a full Blogger functionality.  But what I really love most about this template is it comes with a fresh clean look.

Okay, enough about the layout.

What about the topic of trying to conceive?

Of course, I have a little update to tell you guys...

After having been able to obtain the signatures of the appropriate authorities, my Employee Elective Surgery Application is now all set and ready to go.  I immediately paid Dr. ANB a visit to let him know of the good news but he was way too busy that he asked me to come back on Saturday for him to book me a schedule in the Operating Room.

Things may be moving on a bit slow but I'm glad everything's in the right track.  I surely would need lots and lots of love and prayers as I brave this part of my journey.  Lord, help me please...

My long wait is finally over.  After almost a month in the pipeline, I finally will be able to get to see my Fertility Specialist and I am just dying to hear what his findings are and what our next steps would be.

Unfortunately, I just found out from the attendant when I checked in this morning that my doc is still out for a vacation and that I shall be seen by a different physician. She must have read all my frustrations that she immediately uttered these words to me, "Don't worry, the doctor whom will be seeing you is as equally skilled as the other".

Okay, just for the sole purpose of having to easily identify which doc I am referring to, let's name my original Fertility Specialist as Dr. HM and let's call the Covering Physician as Dr. ANB.

Now, let's go back to the topic above...

The nurse introduced me to Dr. ANB who gave me a warm welcome.  As he was analyzing my chart, I just realized that Dr. ANB happens to be one of the hospital's Fertility Consultants.  With that, all my worries instantly disappeared in thin air.

Dr. ANB started off by telling me that all my blood works were fine and that my hormones are at a normal level.  He then asked me if I already am scheduled for a Laparoscopy because if I still am not, he will need to prepare an Employee Elective Surgery Form immediately.

Wait!  Didn't I mention before that I worked in a hospital and that I am entitled to a full hospitalization coverage (with no cost) which includes Dental, Obstetrics & Gynaecology as well as In-Vitro Fertilization or IVF?  I don't want to sound bragging but isn't that cool?

Anyhows, Dr. ANB and I talked about endometriosis, the ovarian cyst that I have and the need for a surgery.  Everything went on fine but it surprised me seeing what was written opposite of the "Surgery Procedure Required" field in the form -- Laparoscopy and Laparotomy!  I didn't know that there is also need for a Laparotomy...  I was only expecting for a Laparoscopy.

And of course, I asked Dr. ANB tons and tons of questions which were all answered satisfactorily. Of all the informations I've learned, what embarks my mind most is the fact that I shall be having what they call a bikini cut.  Yes, a bikini cut!

A Bikini Cut?

All my life, I haven't been to Pregger's World and yet, here am I, will soon be getting a cut and a surgical procedure similar to a Casesarian Section?  Boo!  I don't think that's cool...

Apprehensive I may be but what I am most sure of is the fact that I am very lucky and very much blessed to have the surgery and the treatment for free.  And for that, I am very grateful to God. So thank You Lord!

So, the day has finally arrived for me to sit down with my Fertility Specialist and discuss the test results that my dear husband and I got from the lab. This is it, the anxiety will finally have its end or... could it be the other way around?

My appointment was at 9:00AM and I don't seem to be that excited to be present in as early as 8:30AM.  While I patiently waited at the Female Waiting Area, I seem to have seen a beam of light walking my doctor through his way to the clinic.  Just like an angel!  Then, I heard the nurse called my name and I woke up from that weird dream of mine.

I found myself sitting in the doctor's office while the doc scan through my records. The room was very still. He broke the silence by telling me that my hormones were just fine and that the levels are within the normal range except for one particular hormone which he did not mention.  He must have been quick enough to read my worries that he immediately comforted me with these words, "Since everything seems to be fine, the low numbers may be due to an analysis error.  This report may have not been accurate and we'll have to run another test again just to be sure." Admittedly, I sort to have found an instant relief on those words.

I asked about my dear husband's Semen Analysis Report and he replied that the numbers were also within the normal range and that his swimmers seems to be of good quality.  However, he was looking into the "high viscosity" and "liquefaction" thing which he has doubts of.  Explaining how factors like the condition or manner how the semen was being collected can greatly affect the results, he has put into consideration that there might be some slight error on the procedure on how the specimen has been analyzed.  But since the numbers were just fine, he assured me that there is not much to worry about.

He then proceed to telling me that since my hormones and hubby's semen were just fine, our next step is to have the condition of my tubes checked through a procedure called Hysterosalpingogram (HSG).  He said that he was also thinking of having a rerun of the previous blood works that I had and that he'll soon be off for a vacation which means that we'll be seeing each other after four weeks.  Four weeks?  I don't think I can wait that long for I still have some issues on my mind that I have to clear up with him!

The ugly cyst that's blocking the view of my right ovary!

So, without wasting time, I asked him about the ultrasound report.  I told him of the difficulties that Jane has undergone just to have a view of my right ovary because it was blocked by a cyst.  Again, he went back to see my records and asked me to lie on the bed for he will perform a quick scan of my abdomen.  The nurse was so sweet that she immediately assisted me in positioning myself into the bed and applied the gel on my skin.  There it goes... I get to see that nasty cyst again.

The doc then went back to his desk to write a request for a Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) Procedure.  While he was doing so, I informed him of the fact that a hemorrhagic cyst has also been found located somewhere near one of my ovaries in an ultrasound conducted way back in 2007.  He then stopped writing and asked me if I was sure about what I am talking of.  Of course I am!  So far...  I also told him that I still remember my old Gynecologist explaining to me that the size of the cyst that time was just like that of a marble.  It was also in that same procedure that I was diagnosed with Endometriosis.

Upon hearing this, he, once again, changed the plan.  Instead of the previous two procedures, I shall then be scheduled for a Laparoscopy but only after the results of the new blood tests has been confirmed.  He handed me the Lab Request and I was a bit stressed when I saw the number of checks.  Well, what can I do but proceed to the Lab and have vials of blood be taken from me again?

Apart from the fact that I find this session enlightening, it was also a funny thing when a friend of mine stopped by at the clinic and gave me a meaningful grin.  Out of the blue, I asked this question, "Why is it that when people sees you in a clinic like this, they always think of you as pregnant?"  His only reply was, "Don't worry, you will soon be!".  Wow!  Simple phrases like that is enough to make one's heart pound. Enough to keep my hopes up...