I'm Back!

Hello ladies, I’m back!  It’s been quite a while and I sure am been missing a lot out here.  How’s everyone doing?

I actually don’t know where to start as far as my journey is concerned but I am definitely am glad to learn that a number of my sisters out here have already achieved their much-awaited BFP’s and pray that you ladies will continue to do well in your pregnancies.  Can’t help but feel emotional on this matter not because of jealousy but because of joy that all your prayers, efforts and waiting have finally paid off.

As for me, a lot of things have taken place these past few months and I just wish I can detail things out.

I had my second and last shot of Lupron Depot on 26-March-2012.  I know that I’ve told you guys that I am supposed to have three but I missed my last shot because Sir Bug and I went out on a month-long vacation and can’t find a local pharmacy that will sell me one.  Anyhows, I didn’t get to experience many side effects on it except for the mild hot flashes and I didn’t get to have my period for three months.  Yeah right, I get to miss those terrible cramps and other sufferings brought about by Aunt Flow’s monthly visit for three months.  

I went back working on 26-May-2012 and had my follow-up check on 28-May-2012 but since Dr. ANB needs to attend to an urgent matter, it was Dr. AMS who covered for him.  I told her that I missed my last Lupron Depot Shot and she came back telling me that I need to take it at once and that I still have three more doses of it to be administered for the next three months wherein I disagreed for Sir Bug and I have taken a break from Trying to Conceive (TTC) for quite some time now and eagerly wishes to continue up with it since it’s already been almost six months past my surgery.  She then phoned Dr. ANB for his opinion and recommendations and I ended up to having scheduled for a Pelvic Ultrasound and a follow-up appointment on Cycle Day (CD) 2.  As per Dr. ANB, I shall be put on Clomid starting from CD 2 to CD 6 once I get to have my period.  That, somehow, gave me a bit of a relief but was suddenly snatched out of it when my conversation with Dr. AMS went on to telling me how difficult would it be for someone like me with Endometriosis to conceive and that the only chance that I have is through In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) wherein I have to stand in a long queue in order for me to get through if I wanted it to be done in our hospital.  Otherwise, it would be better to have it done somewhere else where I will get to spend such huge amount of money.  

Is she kidding me?  I can’t believe her.  Never had I thought that a specialist like her would have talk to a patient like me in that matter.  I know that reality sucks but I’m pretty sure that neither Dr. HM nor Dr. ANB would speak to me that way.  The two has always been positive and certain on which approach and treatment would suit their patients best.  However, I just let it pass me by and convinced myself that unlike the average and less skilled persons, the more skilled people focuses on possibilities and finding ways on how to do things rather than focusing on the problem itself.

Days have passed and I continued to bloat and been mistakenly been suspected by a lot of people to be pregnant.  Well, I think it’s a compliment and I’ve enjoyed it.  But reality bites, I still am not pregnant!

It was 01-July-2012 when I, once again, felt that horrible cramps and AF came gushing like she was on a rush.  Oddly, I was glad.  I never imagined that there will be a time that AF will be mostly welcome and that I will be that excited to have her in.  I then ran to the hospital to get an appointment but unfortunately, the schedule was full and I was instructed to just walk-in the next day which I did!

Dr. ANB was again out at that time and it was Dr. FY who came to attend to me.  As usual, she went through my history and read me my Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) and Pelvic Ultrasound Findings which says:

Hysterosalpingogram

Findings:

Hysterosalpingogram under fluoroscopy screen after injection of water soluble contrast through the cervical canal.

Normal smooth filling of the uterine cavity.  No evidence of uterine filling defect is seen. Normal smooth filling of the right fallopian tube with good spillage and peritoneal smearing. The left fallopian tube shows normal caliber with smooth filling till its fimbral end where there is saccular dilation at its fimbrial end with no spillage seen during the delayed peritoneal smearing.  Features are suggestive of left peritubal adhesion.

Impression:

Patent right tube.

Left tubal distal obstruction with suggested peritubal adhesion.

Pelvic Ultrasound

Clinical History:

Primary Infertility with history of endometriosis operated, for followup.

Findings:

Anteverted normal-sized uterus measuring 8.0 x 4.0 x 5.1 cm.

Endometrium is central and not thickened measuring 1.0 cm.

No mass lesion is seen in the myometrium.

No free fluid is seen in the posterior cul-de-sac.

Right ovary measures 2.5 x 1. x 3.4 cm with volume of 7.7 ml.  It shows a follicle measuring 1.6 x 1.5 cm.

Left ovary measures 2.9 x 2.0 x 2.9 cm with volume of 9.4 ml.  A small cyst measuring 1.0 x 0.9 cm is seen in the left ovary with low-level internal echoes could represent a small hemorrhagic cyst.

Impression:

Anteverted normal-sized uterus with endometrial thickness of 1.0 cm.  Both ovaries are normal in size, shape and echotexture with a developing follicle in the right ovary and small probably hemorrhagic cyst in the left ovary.  For clinical correlation.

For a while, I thought the world would fall over me.  I waited for six months now to TTC again and having to receive the bad news of having another cyst on your left ovary is a little bit over my comprehension!  But then, I was glad that Dr. FY was quick enough to pick my reaction up when she told me to lie down for she will perform and On-the-Spot Abdominal Scan.  I went on so willingly and all my worries disappeared in a second when she broke the silence when she exclaimed “There is no cyst!”.

Then we continue to talk more while she explained her view and reasons for recommending an IVF.  This time, I didn’t feel that gut feelings that I had when I was with Dr. AMS.  She explained things so thoroughly that I can feel her concern.  Nonetheless, she might have said things so nicely and she was indeed convincing, I still asked for other options and we came to agree on having to be under an Induced Ovulation through Clomid for three months.  I was instructed to take it from CDs 2-6 and she would want me to come back on CD 12 to have my hormones checked.  Unfortunately, the Appointment Desk can’t squeeze me in and she just decided to drop the blood works and let her see me after three months.

Though I am pleaesd with the overall outcome of this check-up, I still can’t help myself but to be sad for it seems that I am, once again, being left out in the wild on my own.  I will have to go through this three-month battle without being monitored.  

Well, what can I do?  At least I see hope came peeking through that small window…  What else can I ask for?