One of My Favorites so far...

Hello everyone, I'm back!

It’s been a while since I came back from Bahrain but I haven’t posted anything yet for I’ve been too busy since I came back that I can’t find enough time to write.

I wasn’t able to visit the places that I initially intended to but I did have lots of fun with the company of friends.  This vacation actually became more like of  a Road Trip rather than the Outdoor Adventure that I have visualized.  Well, no surprise to that for Sir Big and I do love to travel in our car and the long drive is actually one of our bonding moments.

We started the ride early in the morning and here’s a shot I’ve taken while we were crossing the border:

The Road to Bahrain

We spent most of our time visiting friends and took advantage of the opportunity of having to see a movie in a big screen.  I was actually expecting that we get to watch “The Bourne Legacy” but unfortunately, it isn’t showing yet in Bahrain so we proceed onto watching “The Expendables 2” which we also have enjoyed watching.

Taken at City Centre Mall in Manama

The Atrium

However, Sir Bug and I weren’t able to feed our thirst for alcohol since the trip’s timing was within the Holy Month of Ramadan and most of the clubs and other night spots were closed at that time.  Nonetheless, we were able to satisfy our cravings for pork.  Yeah, we did pigged-out on pork out there.  Yum!

And of course, the picture-savvy I went on taking photos of the road and different sites that awe me.  Even this car wasn’t spared.  I feel like a stalker.  Lol!

Stalking an Orange Audi TT

And what’s the biggest deal in this trip?  Well, apart from the fact we were able to get a decent hotel room for a fairly good price, the hospitality that we received from friends did played a major role in saving our pockets from being drained.  Awesome isn’t it?

The Hotel Room

Pretty Nice Pool Ei?

I wish I could share everything one by one but I don’t have much time to write it all.  I need to go back working.  Bye for now!

One (1) more day at work and I am officially on a Week-long Holiday.  I just can’t wait to have a grab of those outdoor activities and visit those ancient, cultural, historical and other tourist and action spots in Bahrain. Will also take time to, once again, experience the night life with which we have been deprived of here.  I think this trip will definitely help in taking my mind off away from Trying to Conceive (TTC).  I am extremely excited.  

Bahrain, here we come!

After having been experienced the ecstasy of finally getting to see a BFP and suddenly been snatched out of it is really heartbreaking.  I actually don’t know where and how to begin.   I was really out of words…

But not for so long for I came to realize that there is no use crying over spilt milk.  The past cannot be undone and it would be so much better if we focus more of our energies to today so that we can have a favorable tomorrow.   We can always start anew, right?

So since I’ve started spotting on CD36, I went in to the clinic and requested for some blood works to be done.  I just figured out that if I am about to begin my 2^nd Clomid Cycle, I might as well have that piece of mind that I am indeed safe to take the pill.

CD37 and the bleeding started bringing so much pain with her.  Oh it really sucks to have Endo! Anyhows, I obtained the results from the Lab that very same day.  And what do I expect apart from a BFN?  Isn’t it obvious specially that I am already bleeding?

Alas!  Stop bi+#*ing out lady.  You have to calm down remember?

It was a good thing that I was trained in my previous jobs to have control over my own emotions. Not an easy job though but it surely helps when I want to get myself motivated.  A big thanks to Napoleon Hill and all his writings.

Today is CD8 of my 2^nd Clomid Cycle and I am finally done taking the pills.  I hope it’ll work for me this time.  I would definitely need all the tricks and prayers I can get.  Lol, I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

Today is Cycle Day (CD) No. 36 and I am so confused, frustrated and scared to death!

I normally have a 28-30 Day Cycle and a Lutheal Phase (LH) of 13 and yesterday, since it was CD35, I caved in and peed on a stick.  I prepared my heart to be crushed again but hope was just around the corner when a line, not so dark though, showed up in an instant.  I couldn’t believe what I saw but I can’t help myself but cling in to that little window of hope.  Could I really be pregnant?  What If?  But why is the bottom part of the line darker than its upper part?  Hence, they say that a line is still a line and I’d like to take it as a Big Fat Positive (BFP)!

My heart went pumping really early fast this morning when I get to learn that my temperature just dropped.  Since it was still above the coverline, I just ignored it.  However, when I went to pee on the two (2) different sticks that I have at home, my heart was, once again, broken when they showed two (2) different results.  They don’t seem to agree with each other because one (1) stick gave me a BFP while the other came up with a Big Fat Negative (BFN).  What the???  This doesn’t seem so good…

Then, I felt like my heart has been beaten to death when, an hour later, I saw a tinged of pale brown color in the tissue after I have wiped it.  I felt so distressed that after having been upped with all those hopes, something immediately snatched it away from me and now, I am faced with a thought of an Ectopic Pregnancy or an Early Miscarriage?  This is so devastating!

I couldn’t help but feel sad.  I wanted to cry.  I wanted to freak out.  But you know what?  I think I’ve heard a small voice telling me that I must act and feel that way for I am so loved by my God and that He surely knows what He is doing and has planned everything according to His time.  I just need to put my trust in Him.  I just have to…

“Fear not and lift everything up to Him!”   That’s what my mom told me when she learned about the bad news.  “Don’t worry my dear, He will take care of everything.  Just be patient.  It’ll come to you.”

I don’t know but upon hearing her words, I felt much better.  Thanks Mom.  You really are the best.  I love you so much!

Aunt Flow (AF) is supposed to be due today and I actually do not know what to feel.  Part of me says that I might be out for this month but a bigger part of me stays optimistic that July may definitely be my month.

So the Curious & Impatient Me stroke back when I’ve learned last night that I still have one (1) stick left in our Medicine Cabinet and I wasted no time and peed on it this morning at around 4:15 AM and behold, it was a negative.  My heart was initially crushed but I managed to convince myself that it might still be too early for testing.  

What positive thinking I got here ei?!?

Anyhows, my mood was suddenly on when I entered my Basal Body Temperature (BBT) for this morning in my Fertility Friend Chart.  Well, the application might have finally agreed with me with regards to my Ovulation Date – Cycle Day (CD) No. 18.  Not quite exact but at least it is quite close to my projection which is CD17 which means that I am currently somewhere around 12 Days Past Ovulation (DPO).  It really felt good thinking that I am on track and I did something right.

Twelve (12) DPO and still with a Big Fat Negative (BFN)???

My BBT is continuously been rising but everything seems to be blurry and I just hope that AF will stay out of the way.

Fingers crossed!

 

Today’s Cycle Day (CD) No. 23 and if my calculations are right, I am currently 6 Days Past Ovulation (DPO).  So far, the following were the only notable changes that I’ve experienced in this cycle:

Frequent Headaches.  I don’t get to experience this much before but it seems like Mr. Headache is much in touch with me during this cycle.

Migraines.  I used to not know how to distinguish migraine from headache but this cycle was indeed helpful and partly educational that I get to learn the difference between the two.

Always Hungry.  Nothing surprising because I always am only this time, I am extra hungry.

Very Crampy.  I almost have forgotten her because she haven’t paid me a visit for quite some time now but I think Ms. Cramps had missed me so much that she came in early in this cycle and had never left me since then.  She was strongly hitting me from the pelvic area then down to my hips and legs for a few days in a row now.

Backaches.  My back has been killing me like I just carried tons and tons of loads in it.

Fatigue.  I suddenly became extremely tired of doing nothing.  Crazy!

Bloated.  Nothing new but it seems to be exaggerating itself during this month.

So So Gassy.  I feel like wanting to burp and fart most of the time.

Very Thirsty.  This is not me.  I barely drink 8 glasses of water a day but this cycle, I’ve been drinking an average of 1.5 Liters a day.  My throat seems to feel so dry nowadays that I always get to sneak into drinking and taking a sip.  I’m currently in Saudi Arabia where the majority is currently on fast because of the Ramadan Season and it is a big no no for Non-Muslims like me to eat and drink while they are around.

Frequent Urination.  Since I’ve been drinking too much, it goes to follow that I also pee a lot. Lol!

Not So Usual Abdominal Pain.  Yeah, I get to have an overstated abdominal pain before, during and after ovulation.  Very notable ones just took place yesterday where I am at CD22 and 5DPO.

I know and I’ve told myself not to obsess much but I can’t help it.  I am of so much hope that I won’t have to take Clomid in the coming months.  But this Two Week Wait is driving me crazy.  Symptoms that I have are also symptoms of Aunt Flow’s (AF’s) impending visit.  I feel so distressed!

I cannot help but stress myself as when am I supposed to ovulate.  I’ve been peeing on a stick since Cycle Day (CD) No. 9 and yet, the test lines seem to be so faint that it worries me if I am to ovulate this cycle or not.  I know that my body would respond a lot better if I am relaxed but things are indeed easier said than done.

Luckily, I didn’t get to have much of the talked-about side effects of Clomid.  It’s just that I am more consumed in having to succeed conceiving within this cycle.  I really hope that my body will respond well with the pill and that I need not take it further.

In my desire to successfully be able to conceive within this cycle, I tried, for the first, charting my temperature and utilizing an Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK).  Frankly, I kinda’ like the idea of doing both but the inconvenience of having to find the right OPKs here in Saudi and its cost is a pain in the ass.  I tried ordering it online along with those sperm-friendly lubricants but, unfortunately, both EBay and Amazon doesn’t ship it to my location.  So I guessed I have to be contented on what is available here and be more creative.

But God is good.  He make things happen even if it is not exactly the way we expected them to be.  I might not have been able to find Clear Blue here but at least I still was able to find some which also serves the same purpose – Ovu-Sure and Femtest.

Ovu-Sure comes in six cassettes while Femtest comes in five.  I used Ovu-Sure from CD9-14 and Femtest from CD15-17.  And since it was my first time to use such, I struggled in interpreting the results.  It’s a good thing that there’s a number of support communities online who had helped me with it.

I’ve uploaded a photo of the OPKs that I had from CD15-17 and most of the ladies out there agreed that I did have a positive on the CD16 which means that I am most likely to ovulate on CD17.  Now, what bothered me upon learning this is if I was able to catch the window?  I hope I did…

Today’s CD18 and while writing this, I just felt a short sharp shooting pain on my right which brings me hope.  Oh Lord, I lift everything up to you.  Please take control.  Amen.

 It was 01-July-2012 when, after three months of a no show, I finally get to be visited by Aunt Flow (AF) and never had I thought that I’ll be that thrilled to see her.  At last, I am, once again, back in the track and is all set to board the Trying to Conceive (TTC) Train and continue with my journey.

Though AF always comes with those awful pains, they are now less likely than my previous periods.  Surprisingly, I didn’t get to experience spotting prior to and after her four-day visit.  Yes, her visit lasted only for four days which is so much shorter than she used to.

She came in late in the morning while I was at work and I immediately ran to the Appointment Desk to be able to have an appointment with Dr. ANB the next day.  Unfortunately, I cannot be squeezed in for all the slots have already been filled up but was recommended that I walk in if it was really that urgent.  Of course, it was really an urgent matter for me for I need to be seen on my Cycle Day (CD) No. 2.  I need to start the treatment as soon as possible for I am running out of time!

Persistence Overcomes Resistance!

So I actually did win the battle and was seen by Dr. FY, who covered for Dr. ANB.  The consultation went smoothly and it was indeed enlightening.  Like what I have mentioned in my old post, she was actually pushing for an In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) due to my age but after weighing all the options, we both decided that I initially undergo an Induced Fertilization Process through Clomid.  Well, as far as I can remember, that was Dr. ANB’s plan…

I was told to take three rounds of the said pill beginning of CD2 of the current cycle and should supposedly be seen again on CD12 of the same cycle for monitoring.  Unfortunately, the available schedules don’t match so she decided to only see me again after three months.  But before parting our ways, Dr. FY stressed out that should I be experiencing a very bad abdominal cramping and nausea during Ovulation Time, I must have myself admitted to the Emergency Room (ER) and need not worry much for Clomid will make my body produced more mature eggs.  I was, somehow, pleased with the idea but still worried for I will go forth with the treatment for the next three months unmonitored.

Of Taking Things More Seriously

I finished my first round of Clomid on CD6 and according to the Clomid Ovulation Calculator which I found online, I should start using Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs) on CD9 and I am most likely to ovulate in between CD11 to CD16 which brings me more hope and extreme excitement.

Also, I have started charting my Basal Body Temperature (BBT) this cycle and although I only began taking my temps on CD4, I think I get to like doing so.  In fact, I even regret not doing it earlier.

I also learned that Clomid dries up one’s Cervical Mucus (CM) and thins the uterus – one thing that is quite alarming but can easily be reversed by taking Robitussin or any form of Guaifenesin and by Baby Aspirins.  To this, I forced Sir Bug into buying me a Robitussin and some Baby Aspirins.  This is it; I am now taking things more seriously.  I must conceive!

The Waiting Game

Since the Clomid Ovulation Calculator that I’ve found online indicated that I can start testing on OPKs in as early as CD9, I wasted no time and did so.  Unluckily, the test came out to be negative.  I guessed it was too early to test and decided to continue testing until I get that positive.

Today is CD16 and I still haven’t had a positive yet.  Though the lines are getting darker now, I can’t help but be worried and be frustrated.

Adding to all these uncertainties, my chart showed a temperature drop from 36.4°C on CD10 to 36.1°C on CD11 and then back to 36.4°C on CD12-14.  Did I ovulate on CD11?  How come I am not getting any positives on my OPKs?  Did I miss the window?  Or I really haven’t ovulated yet?

Oh this waiting game is driving me crazy!

Hello ladies, I’m back!  It’s been quite a while and I sure am been missing a lot out here.  How’s everyone doing?

I actually don’t know where to start as far as my journey is concerned but I am definitely am glad to learn that a number of my sisters out here have already achieved their much-awaited BFP’s and pray that you ladies will continue to do well in your pregnancies.  Can’t help but feel emotional on this matter not because of jealousy but because of joy that all your prayers, efforts and waiting have finally paid off.

As for me, a lot of things have taken place these past few months and I just wish I can detail things out.

I had my second and last shot of Lupron Depot on 26-March-2012.  I know that I’ve told you guys that I am supposed to have three but I missed my last shot because Sir Bug and I went out on a month-long vacation and can’t find a local pharmacy that will sell me one.  Anyhows, I didn’t get to experience many side effects on it except for the mild hot flashes and I didn’t get to have my period for three months.  Yeah right, I get to miss those terrible cramps and other sufferings brought about by Aunt Flow’s monthly visit for three months.  

I went back working on 26-May-2012 and had my follow-up check on 28-May-2012 but since Dr. ANB needs to attend to an urgent matter, it was Dr. AMS who covered for him.  I told her that I missed my last Lupron Depot Shot and she came back telling me that I need to take it at once and that I still have three more doses of it to be administered for the next three months wherein I disagreed for Sir Bug and I have taken a break from Trying to Conceive (TTC) for quite some time now and eagerly wishes to continue up with it since it’s already been almost six months past my surgery.  She then phoned Dr. ANB for his opinion and recommendations and I ended up to having scheduled for a Pelvic Ultrasound and a follow-up appointment on Cycle Day (CD) 2.  As per Dr. ANB, I shall be put on Clomid starting from CD 2 to CD 6 once I get to have my period.  That, somehow, gave me a bit of a relief but was suddenly snatched out of it when my conversation with Dr. AMS went on to telling me how difficult would it be for someone like me with Endometriosis to conceive and that the only chance that I have is through In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) wherein I have to stand in a long queue in order for me to get through if I wanted it to be done in our hospital.  Otherwise, it would be better to have it done somewhere else where I will get to spend such huge amount of money.  

Is she kidding me?  I can’t believe her.  Never had I thought that a specialist like her would have talk to a patient like me in that matter.  I know that reality sucks but I’m pretty sure that neither Dr. HM nor Dr. ANB would speak to me that way.  The two has always been positive and certain on which approach and treatment would suit their patients best.  However, I just let it pass me by and convinced myself that unlike the average and less skilled persons, the more skilled people focuses on possibilities and finding ways on how to do things rather than focusing on the problem itself.

Days have passed and I continued to bloat and been mistakenly been suspected by a lot of people to be pregnant.  Well, I think it’s a compliment and I’ve enjoyed it.  But reality bites, I still am not pregnant!

It was 01-July-2012 when I, once again, felt that horrible cramps and AF came gushing like she was on a rush.  Oddly, I was glad.  I never imagined that there will be a time that AF will be mostly welcome and that I will be that excited to have her in.  I then ran to the hospital to get an appointment but unfortunately, the schedule was full and I was instructed to just walk-in the next day which I did!

Dr. ANB was again out at that time and it was Dr. FY who came to attend to me.  As usual, she went through my history and read me my Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) and Pelvic Ultrasound Findings which says:

Hysterosalpingogram

Findings:

Hysterosalpingogram under fluoroscopy screen after injection of water soluble contrast through the cervical canal.

Normal smooth filling of the uterine cavity.  No evidence of uterine filling defect is seen. Normal smooth filling of the right fallopian tube with good spillage and peritoneal smearing. The left fallopian tube shows normal caliber with smooth filling till its fimbral end where there is saccular dilation at its fimbrial end with no spillage seen during the delayed peritoneal smearing.  Features are suggestive of left peritubal adhesion.

Impression:

Patent right tube.

Left tubal distal obstruction with suggested peritubal adhesion.

Pelvic Ultrasound

Clinical History:

Primary Infertility with history of endometriosis operated, for followup.

Findings:

Anteverted normal-sized uterus measuring 8.0 x 4.0 x 5.1 cm.

Endometrium is central and not thickened measuring 1.0 cm.

No mass lesion is seen in the myometrium.

No free fluid is seen in the posterior cul-de-sac.

Right ovary measures 2.5 x 1. x 3.4 cm with volume of 7.7 ml.  It shows a follicle measuring 1.6 x 1.5 cm.

Left ovary measures 2.9 x 2.0 x 2.9 cm with volume of 9.4 ml.  A small cyst measuring 1.0 x 0.9 cm is seen in the left ovary with low-level internal echoes could represent a small hemorrhagic cyst.

Impression:

Anteverted normal-sized uterus with endometrial thickness of 1.0 cm.  Both ovaries are normal in size, shape and echotexture with a developing follicle in the right ovary and small probably hemorrhagic cyst in the left ovary.  For clinical correlation.

For a while, I thought the world would fall over me.  I waited for six months now to TTC again and having to receive the bad news of having another cyst on your left ovary is a little bit over my comprehension!  But then, I was glad that Dr. FY was quick enough to pick my reaction up when she told me to lie down for she will perform and On-the-Spot Abdominal Scan.  I went on so willingly and all my worries disappeared in a second when she broke the silence when she exclaimed “There is no cyst!”.

Then we continue to talk more while she explained her view and reasons for recommending an IVF.  This time, I didn’t feel that gut feelings that I had when I was with Dr. AMS.  She explained things so thoroughly that I can feel her concern.  Nonetheless, she might have said things so nicely and she was indeed convincing, I still asked for other options and we came to agree on having to be under an Induced Ovulation through Clomid for three months.  I was instructed to take it from CDs 2-6 and she would want me to come back on CD 12 to have my hormones checked.  Unfortunately, the Appointment Desk can’t squeeze me in and she just decided to drop the blood works and let her see me after three months.

Though I am pleaesd with the overall outcome of this check-up, I still can’t help myself but to be sad for it seems that I am, once again, being left out in the wild on my own.  I will have to go through this three-month battle without being monitored.  

Well, what can I do?  At least I see hope came peeking through that small window…  What else can I ask for?

Just when I was about to blow the good news of my period being finally late, there goes Aunt Flow's (AF's) treacherous attack and spoiled all the fun!

I thought I will finally get to miss the agony of her visit.  I was under the impression that one will get to stop having their periods while on Lupron.  But I guess I was wrong. I've expected much.  I became thrilled with the thought of finally being spared from the pain.  I am so wrong!

It was late Thursday afternoon when I've started cramping.  Though part of me says that AF will be striking any minute, I was in denial and really hoped that, this time, she will never get to show her ugly face.

Well, what do you know? My instincts were right!

It was only after a few hours when she hit me.  Only this time, she stroke back full of vengeance.  I was cramping and bleeding really bad.  So bad that I almost can't get myself out of bed.  I was crying so hard that Sir Bug almost fell down to his knees not knowing what to do and how to ease my pain.  I feel so guilty seeing him so helpless.  Yet, I am in great pain that I cannot stop myself from crying...

I kept on praying to God that He ease all my pain and permanently take it away so that I don't have to through it anymore.  The pains that I've had after the surgery were more bearable than this one.  This was definitely one of the worst period I ever had. Oh Endo, how I hate you!

Look, I know that one stops getting their period while on Lupron and that it shuts down the body's reproductive hormone system but I just can't stop the urge of testing since I still have a Home Pregnancy Test (HPT) at hand. Funny though but I did it last night and guess what?  The Impatient Me stroke back again...

I don't know why but when I felt the need to go to the toilet last night, I just thought of grabbing the last piece of HPTs that I have in the Medicine Cabinet and immediately peed on it.  Of course, after instantly seeing the first well-defined line and not seeing a second line, I, once again, immediately set it aside and cleaned myself up.

Well, what do I expect since I just had my first shot of Lupron last February 27?

However, the Curious and Stubborn Me went to check the said HPT this morning and "wallah", another faint line???

And what is the meaning of this? c",)

Anyways, I just thought that it would be nice if I keep a memento of it.  Who knows???

Don't bother me.  I'm on Lupron and I can rip your freakin' head off!

Hello Blogesphere, I'm back!

How's everyone?  Did you guys miss me?  'Cause I did miss you all...

So, I really did miss out on a lot of things here ei???

Well, as for me and my journey, there's been too many things that have taken place since my last update and I can't think of a better way than to enumerate them all just to keep you guys updated and here they go...

08-Jan-2012.  I was woken up at 6:00 AM by one of the nurses to remove the IV Fluid attached.  It still wasn’t easy to move around yet but I was advised to try walking around to wake my system up for they still might be on sleep due to the anesthesia.  At 11:00 AM, they finally freed me from the Catheter. 

09-Jan-2012.  Been spotting for the past two days and I’m glad that the red flag gave me a break this time. I was still in pain but it was tolerable.  Planned to do a little walking but I haven’t been gone far enough from my room when I met Dr. SAA and her team down the hallway and was asked to go back to my room for they will have to check me up first.  I went back so willingly and the team checked my wounds and asked one of their members to clean and change the dressing.  After a few interrogations and exchange of words, they then decided that I am now free and ready to be discharged.  So, I immediately grabbed my mobile phone to inform Sir Bug about the discharge and the need for him to pick me up.  It was a good thing that one of my colleagues has gifted me with a red cotton dress which I changed into as soon as I got myself out of the patient gown and wore while on my way back home.  

10-Jan-2012.  Bled once again.  Though it was light, it did freaked me out specially that I am, at that time, already at home where no nurse can be called up for help.  Is this normal or what??? 

11-Jan-2012.  The bleeding went from light to medium and it really was freaking me out.  Talked to my mom over Skype and asked her to ask my aunt who works in a hospital to ask their OB Gyne Consultant if what was I experiencing that time was normal or not.  Thank God, they said that there was no need to worry for what I was experiencing was just normal.

12-Jan-2012.  Now, the bleeding went from medium to heavy and it was, indeed, painful.  Is this AF or what???  Ooopps, by the way, for the first time after my surgery, I pooped! 

13-Jan-2012.  The flow went down from heavy to medium.  I did a little research on the net and learned from one doctor that Aunt Flow (AF) is possible if you've ovulated prior to having the surgery performed. 

14-Jan-2012.  The flow finally went down to light and hoped that it will finally go away. 

15-Jan-2012.  No more flow but only spotting.  Yay! 

16-Jan-2012.  I’m finally free from flow and spotting.  Still wasn’t easy to move around though… 

18-Jan-2012.  The spotting stroke back. 

19-Jan-2012.  Still spotting… 

20-Jan-2012.  No more spotting.  I feel like as though I am trapped in Big Brother’s House.  I am, at that time, missing the outside world… 

21-Jan-2012.  This is it, I finally was able to see the outside world.  Had a 5:30 PM Follow-Up Check-Up with the doc.  Sir Bug picked me up at 4:00 PM and we went straight to our office to meet with my boss.  I am feeling a lot better and can now move around more freely.  Learned from my boss that I was granted a 28-Day Sick Leave beginning from the Date of Admission.  I was on the 16^th Day and is feeling really bored at home.  As for the check-up, I didn’t get to see Dr. ANB but another doctor instead.  There was nothing significant derived from that visit. 

23-Jan-2012.  Had another round of Follow-Up Check-up at 9:30 AM but went on early because of hubby’s schedule.  I was dropped off in the office at around 7:30 AM and stayed in there for a while.  Since I’ve been feeling like I’m a prisoner at my own home, my boss and I gave Dr. ANB a call to ask if it’s possible that I return back to work without consuming the whole 28 days of it.  As per hospital’s policy and Dr. ANB’s stand, 28 days is the standard number of Sick Leaves that must be granted for my kind of procedure and he cannot recommend something shorter than that.  However, he added up that it is up to me if I feel that I am strong and fit enough to return for work.  To double check things up, we called the Human Resources (HR) Department and inquired about the possibility.  Luckily, they said it’s possible!  Strange though…  But I am happy and really did plan to come back for work on the 21^st Day.  I don’t want to consume my whole 30 Days Sick Leave Allotment in one blow and during the first month of the year.  Most importantly, I plan to file for an Annual Vacation two (2) weeks after my return.  Need to cool things up you know???  As for the Follow-Up Check-Up, I’ve learned for the first time from Dr. Fatima that one of the reasons why Dr. ANB and Dr. RZ decided to push through with the Laparotomy was because the Endometrioma was too attached or close to the Endometrial Wall.  We also talked about my Fallopian Tubes and its condition that prompted her to write a request for a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) which must be done right after my period.  Yeah right, I hope the surgery didn’t mess up with my cycle! 

25-Jan-2012.  It’s my 35^th Birthday and I sure am so glad for all of God’s blessings.  I hosted a small gathering at home for close friends and relatives.  ‘Twas also a Thanksgiving Party for a Successful Surgery. 

28-Jan-2012.  Returned back to work and just in time for the Monthly Reports.  Not much moving needed but work is a little brain-draining… 

10-Feb-2012.  Experienced Medium Bleeding.  I guessed that was AF messing around with me and she's a week early!  Still experienced some cramps but not as bad as it used to. 

11-Feb-2012.  Woke up with lots of big rashes all over.  The bleeding went on from medium to heavy.  Working isn’t comfortable at this state so I have to rush myself to the Employee Health Clinic (EHC) and was diagnosed with an Acute Urticaria.  Oh no! 

12-Feb-2012.  The flow went down from heavy to medium.  Still having those awful cramps.


14-Feb-2012.  The bleeding is now down from medium to light and I felt a lot better now.  In fact, I even managed to visit the mall and paid GNC Live Well Store and got myself a bottle of Dong Quai. 

15-Feb-2012.  Started taking two (2) 565mg capsules of GNC Dong Quai twice a day.  So far, I haven’t felt any violent reactions yet.

16-Feb-2012.  Feeling a little heavy after taking the last dose of Dong Quai for the day.  Felt like I wasn’t able to digest what I ate for dinner.  Slept early. 

17-Feb-2012.  Woke up at 12:00 MN due to urge of wanting to throw up.  Been vomiting from that time onward ‘til 6:00 AM where there is nothing more to throw.  Okay, I think I have to stop talking Dong Quai for a while.  Was only able to sleep at 11:00 AM. 

22-Feb-2012.  Scheduled for an HSG.  Had to report an hour early for a Pregnancy Test which I am sure will turn out to be a negative.  Took  two (2) tablets of Advil an hour before my scheduled HSG but was administered with another round of Diclofenac Sulfate Tablet prior to the procedure.  Ouch, thought I had myself prepared for this one but it still hurt!  I was advised me not to worry if bleeding occurs in the next few days ‘cause it’s all normal…  Their prediction is definitely right 'cause I bled right away and not just bled - I bled with clots.!  Yeah right, with clots just like those that comes out during AF's visit!  Oh, by the way, according to the doc, the right tube was blocked.  What the?!? 

27-Feb-2012.  Follow-Up Check-Up with Dr. ANB.  He told me not to worry about the blockage because it was caused by the adhesions resulted from the surgery.  He said that it’ll definitely work that way since the scars are still healing.  I still have the other tube in tact anyways…  I also asked him if I am now alright to try for a baby and he answered with a big “YES”.  Haha, Sir Bug will be happy to hear about this!  Then, he called the pharmacy and asked for the availability of Lupron.  Lupron?  Yeah, I had my first shot of Lupron Depot administered that day.  Don’t know what’s going to happen next but since it’s free and Dr. ANB was a very credible one, I didn’t object to it.  I will be on Lupron for the next two (2) months by the way…

So I guess these were all it.  I know I’ve written a lot and I hope you guys won’t be bored with me.  I’ve been super busy these past days both with work and at home that I can’t even find time to log-in and check my Facebook Account.  Today, I thank God for He has given me this freedom to check my blog and squeeze in some time to write an update before February ends.  Also, I thank you all, especially you Jess for keeping in touch.  God bless us all in this journey!

It was around 1:00 AM when I was wakened up by the pain where my cut was.  So there it is, I guessed the anesthesia's finally wearing off...

Though moving around aggravates the pain, I still exerted some effort to reach out for the Nurse Call Button and asked for some help.  Soon after, Nurse Sari came in for reinforcement.  I told her about the pain and based on our assessment, the pain can easily be relieved by taking two 500 MG tablets of Acetaminophen which I did so willingly.

The meds must really be fast acting since I immediately fell asleep.

However, after two hours of sleep, I was, once again, this time, wakened up, by a higher degree of pain.  Again, I grabbed the Nurse Call Button and Nurse Sari came in almost instantly.  I told her that the pain is advancing in terms of degree and she gave me a shot of an Injectible Pain Reliever which I think was very effective since I fell asleep instantaneously.

The morning rays coming from the window woke me up at 7:00 AM.  Just in time for breakfast...

Not long enough, two of my Co-Workers came to visit me in my room and joined me for breakfast. My appetite seems to have changed a bit since I was not able to consume a whole piece of the pancake served.  Even though,  I think their visit did helped as I was enjoying the meal and having fun...

It was around 8:00 AM when the two had to bid me goodbye since the Nurses and the Physicians just started their Morning Rounds to check the condition of each patient confined in their Respective Wards.  Timely, as they are about to leave, the Nurse Manager and the other nurses came to me to check my vital signs which were still below the normal range.  Then, Dr. RZ came in to check me and asked for a piece of paper.  This is it, I finally will be able to learn what changes has actually taken place inside of me.

I must admit, I was hoping for some good news but I guessed things doesn't actually work exactly the way we wanted it to...

She began the conversation with the good news of learning that my Right Ovary is very much defined from the Endometrioma which means that I get to keep both of my ovaries.  She also confirmed what I have overheard from the Nurses -- that a Laparoscopic Procedure was initially performed but, unfortunately, the cyst ruptured and they had to proceed to a Laparotomy.  She told me that while doing so, they noticed some small fibroids in the uterus but it wasn't harmful so I need not worry about it.  Also, they discovered that a small cyst is starting to develop near my Left Ovary but Dr. ANB decided not to touch it for they do not see it as a threat.  Furthermore, it was also noticed that though my Left Tube is of a normal size, the Right Tube is enlarged and that another procedure, not necessarily invasive, must be performed after two months to check whether it is empty or blocked.  Moreover, I was also told that they found and removed some adhesions located in the uterus and in the Left Pelvis.

On TTC matters, she told me that I still have to wait for another six months before I can get to try conceiving naturally.  She added that if nothing happened after six months of trying, they might have to give me some Trigger Shots and lastly, recommend that I proceed to either an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) or In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).

Dr. RZ might have noticed that I am a bit wearisome that she told me to concentrate first on getting well and we'll work on the other matters after two months.  She gave me a lot of comforting words before she left me alone but honestly, I can't actually remember all those good words as I am, once again, hit by the not so good news that I just learned.

I tried my best to relax and not think about what I just learned but I really can't help it.  Well, you can't blame me...  After having been done with one problem, I am now faced with another issue!

Anyhows, I sure am glad and thankful that one problem has already been resolved without costing me some money.  God really is good.  I just need to trust Him.  Let Him guide me through...

From a Laparoscopy to a Laparotomy

After a few hours in the dark, I finally get to open my eyes and the first image to imprint my consciousness was Dr. RZ standing by at my right.  Without wasting a second, I immediately spoke and held her at the hand and asked, "What happened Doctor?".  She held me back, smiled and answered me with these words, "Later...  I'll tell you everything you wanted to know!"  Then I closed my eyes and felt as if my bed was being pushed and moved to another direction.

As I slowly am gaining my consciousness, I started to hear voices believed to be owned by two or three Female Nurses who seems to be talking and grasping their breath while pushing something...

"What did they do to this patient?  What type of operation did they performed?"
"They were initially performing a Laparoscopic Procedure but while on the process of doing so, the cyst ruptured and so they have to proceed to a Laparotomy to clean everything up."
"I think they also have found and removed some adhesions located in the uterus and the pelvis..."

The moving feeling stopped and it was at that point when I gained almost 80-90% of my consciousness and one of the Female Nurses spoke to me to inform me that I will be transferred to the bed beside me and that they may need all the help and energy that I can give to successfully do so.  I must admit, it wasn't that easy but I was able to move and flipped myself sidewards get myself to the other bed.  Then, they fixed me up, checked my vital signs and asked, "How are you feeling?  Any dizziness or a feeling of wanting to throw up?"  I answered, "I feel hungry!"  Then they laughed, fixed the IV Fluid attached to my left hand, told me that I am in a Catheter and that they will order food for me and they finally left the room.

I turned to look on my left and found some Co-Workers smiling at me and told me that they just wanted to check me out before they call it a day.  I looked at the window and noticed that it was already dark outside and, out of curiosity, asked for the current time.  I was told that it was already 6:00 PM and that it'll be better if i get some rest so they all bid me goodbye.

I tried to calm myself but since it was already clear prior to me coming to the Operating Room (OR) that Sir Bug will come to visit me soon after he got off from work, I cannot help but worry why he is still not around.  And since my mobile phone is in my bag which is inside the cabinet, I crawled to get close to the land line phone and dial our home number to check if he's already at home.  Unfortunately, according to our flatmate, he still wasn't home yet and that made me even worry more.

Nurse Sari came to check me out while she was followed by the Food Server whom she informed that I now can be put into a Regular Diet.  Initially, I was served with a Regular Meal but after a few minutes, the Food Server came back and replaced it with a Soft Diet.  It was at that point that I felt really hungry and grabbed the food.  I think I consumed everything up in a matter of three minutes or so...

It was already 7:00 PM when Sir Bug finally came in.  I gave him a hug and a kiss of course!  He told me that  he came straight to my room at around 5:00 PM but did not find me so he proceeded to the Female Ward Information Desk and was informed by one of the nurses that I am still in OR and advised him to come back after two hours which he did.

He showed me the flowers and the chocolates that was on the side table which my boss and colleagues has brought me. We talked for a while and then I remembered that my family way back home might be worried and might also been waiting for some good news so I asked the nurse for my tab for I need to give them a call.

The moment I received the tab, I immediately logged in to Skype and there, as expected, my brother was logged in hoping for some news to come right away.  I made a videocall and was so happy to see both Mom & Dad who were also happy to learn that the surgery went on fine.  We had like thirty minutes of talk while Sir Bug, on the other hand, is also engaged in a videocall with my Mom and Sister-In-Law to update them as well with the good news.  It felt so good inside learning that there are a lot of people that has been praying for you.  I am so blessed!

Nurse Sari, again, came to check my vital signs and while doing so, Sir Bug noticed that my blood pressure was kinda' low.  James and the other Housekeeping Staff Members who also came to visit noticed that my pulse rate, as indicated in the monitor, is kinda' above the normal range so they asked me how am I feeling and I just told them I am fine!

The Visiting Hour is almost about to end and so Sir Bug and the others decided to go.  I was, again, left alone in the Room with Nurse Sari who, for the Nth time, checked my vital signs before putting me into sleep.  She turned the lights off and I closed my eyes...

It wasn't easy to move around with a needle inserted to your veins.  Ouch!

A blessed new year to all!

I know that my greetings might probably be too late but please allow me to wish each and every one of you to have a blessed 2012 and let the Year of the Dragon fill us all who wishes to conceive with the baby dusts that we all need.

Soon after Christmas, your Lady Bug here has been really busy with all the reports and work endorsements  that must be met prior to 06-January-2012.  Since the current year is about to end and the new year is a few days away, I have to work seriously on both the End-of-the-Month and End-of-the-Year Reports.  Not to mention, I also need to train the new staff who shall take over my position while I am on a Sick Leave.  As a result, I get to abandon the Bloggersphere for a while which I really felt guilty with.

Anyhows, unlike the long wait for 16-December-2011, 06-January-2012 arrived too soon that I haven't even realized that I need to pack my things up for I have to admitted by 10:59 AM.  In fact, one of the Admission Nurses have to give me a call to confirm my appointment and to remind me to come before lunchtime.

Sir Bug and I arrived fifteen minutes late and everything seems to move in a fast pace until finally, I am left alone in the Patient Room where the long day begun.  Nurses kept coming in and out of my room to monitor my vital signs and so were the Food Servers of which all the meals they brought in has satisfied my seems to be undying hunger.

It was at 10:00 PM when Nurse Sari came in and ask me to take a shower and change into the Patient Gown.  She told me that it would be better to do it that night than do it early the next day wherein I am supposedly scheduled to have the operation at 9:00 AM.  She also asked me to drink the tea for I shall not be allowed to have any of those solid foods nor a gulp of water beginning from 12:00 MN onwards.

I can't exactly remember how many times she made a trip to my room just to check my vital signs but it was at around 4:30 AM the next morning when she woke me up and gave me a chance to clean up before changing into the Operation Gown which I did so willingly.  Then, she asked me to go back to sleep and bid me goodbye and good luck for she shall be out by 5:00 AM.  She's so sweet!

Nonetheless, after a few hours, no progress seems to take place so I asked Bee, the The Day Nurse, if she have any idea as to what time will my surgery be.  She told me honestly that she is actually clueless since my name is not in the list and that another patient is being monitored in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) which might need the Operation Theater any time of that day.  I felt so hungry and frustrated that I just slept it out.

It was at 1:30 PM when the Nurse Manager woke me up and told me that I am now to be brought to the Operating Room (OR).  She told me that if there is anything that I need to do, I better do now and do it quickly.  Without wasting time, I went to the toilet to peeh and immediately grab my tab to send Sir Bug a message telling him that I am now due for operation.

Everything went on too fast and before I even knew it, I was already in OR being interviewed by some familiar faces.  The Anesthesiologist came to me and informed me that he is now about to sedate me before injecting something in the tubes attached to my left hand.  Slowly, my eyes grew heavy and I don't know if I was dreaming or what but my last memory was seeing myself in another room with two or three staff in blue on my left, some unlighted plates above me and it seems like a group of people reached for my arms and tied them still.  Then, everything was black...